A common question that Chad and I are always asked is "how did you two meet" - which is a typical question to ask a married couple. The truth is, we met in a pretty typical way - at work - but I have always felt like our love story was a little different. I have no idea why, I just know that if we had been thrown together at any other time or in any other way, we would have never gotten married. I chalk our relationship up to God's perfect timing. And if you're interested in hearing about it, here goes:
I joined an on-premise recruiting team in June 2006. It was the most random job search ever, complete with throwing my resume on Monster, getting an unexpected phone call, and starting a new job within 3 weeks. I am not an impulsive person, but taking this job was semi-impulsive for me. I didn't know anyone else on the team and when I walked in that first morning, I saw Chad and thought, "oh okay, he's cute" but didn't think anything else about it. You see, at that point, my heart and mind was in a different place. I was completely hung up on my college boyfriend and the painful relationship we had continued to let fester for years. Needless to say, I was not in the best place in my life. Weekends consisted of bars and boys and booze and really really bad decisions. Even though I looked put together on the outside, on the inside I was a wreck. I wanted love and passion. I needed a friend.
I'm not sure how it happened, but somehow Chad and I started going to lunch together. Our first lunch was at Zaxby's and I learned all about his daughter, his daughter's mother, and that he was probably the strongest person I had ever met. Even though we grew up differently and had polar opposite life experiences, we were able to talk for HOURS. And joke around and pretty much have the best time ever. Our lunches continued, as did after work phone calls. He was dating other people and I was still the "carefree" party girl. He opened up to me about his current relationships; I would talk to him about my latest flings and my feelings toward my college boyfriend. It was a solid friendship with a man - something that I had never had before. Nothing romantic, just someone to talk to and laugh with. In a matter of months, he pretty much knew everything about me and me about him. The good, the bad, the ugly. It didn't matter.
At work, people thought we acted like brother and sister. He never made a move towards me other than being my friend. But my feelings toward him were changing. One day I picked out my work outfit hoping to impress him. From that day on, I made sure I looked my best in an effort to catch his eye in a different light. My stomach fluttered whenever he was around. I felt like he was oblivious to it all, but evidently, his feelings were changing, too.
Things did change about six months after we met. We decided to give a relationship a try and that lasted all of two weeks. He ended it the night before my friend's wedding. I cried myself to sleep, but knew that no matter what happened, he would always be my friend.
Christmas '06 came and we spent the holiday together, going to each other's family functions. We weren't dating. It was strange and I wanted more. After Christmas and feeling that he would never come around to loving me like I loved him, I made a call to that college boyfriend to make New Year's plans. I figured that if I couldn't have what I knew I wanted, I could call up the past to make me feel better for a while. The college boyfriend agreed to meet up for New Year's Eve and at the finalization of plans, something stopped me. I will never forget that conversation because I knew it was the end of something that had eaten me up inside for years and the beginning of something else. I knew that if I met up with College Boy Friend, I would never have my chance with Chad. So I cancelled the plans I had made. I remember what I said too..."I'm in love with Chad and I can't meet up with you." I didn't know if the love would ever be reciprocated. I had no clue. I just knew that if I didn't take a leap of faith and close the door on the past, I would never be able to walk forward into my future.
A few days later, after a day trip to Chimney Rock, Chad and I were back together. A few weeks later, I told him I loved him. A few weeks after that, he professed his love to me. We've been together ever since.
Maybe we're not Romeo & Juliet. Maybe it's not the most romantic love story of all time. But I have seen so many relationships fail because the key element was not there. No, not attraction or passion - something more basic than that. Friendship. Chad is now my husband and I am madly in love with him. But he is also my very best friend.
"True love is friendship - caught on fire."
Happy 3 years Mr. Butler! I love you!
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